Dear Alexander

Hey kid. It's Mom.

I've never written you a letter before.

I wanted to write when I was pregnant but your kicks were so strong that my broken rib distracted me from what I wanted to tell you.

I wanted to write when you were first born but the pain of nursing and lack of sleep distracted me from what I wanted to tell you.

I wanted to write a letter with each of your birthdays but the planning, cleaning and melancholy of another year passing distracted me from what I wanted to tell you.

So, here it is. March 2010 and you're 3 years old. Technically, 3 years and 3 months and 6 days old. I don't know if I will ever write another letter to you. I suspect you and I will never have difficulties communicating but who knows. I would hope so but life unfolds without prediction, right?

You, my son, are the happiest, most easy-going toddler. However, we are entering the tumultuous threes and you are pushing for independence with each passing day. Ever since you started walking at 9 months, you haven't slowed down. Once we convince you to go outdoors (you're like your father in that sense. You don't want to leave the house but when you do, you love it), you play for hours in the yard. You love doing yard work with your work gloves. We can't get you to leave a park and at Little Gym, you run nonstop for the entire session. On the other hand, you push boundaries and you are learning how far you can run from us before you have consequences. Push the boundaries, little one. But remember, timeouts are often waiting on the other side. Even when you are 18.

Despite not talking in full sentences until you were 2 and a half, now we can't get you to shut up. The endless questions. The endless conversations. The explosion in your vocabulary continues to astound your father and I. And right now, you have the cutest little lisp. I don't know if you will keep it or not but when you say your s's or z's, I grin every time. If your father and I don't understand what you are saying, you don't get mad at us. You just yell the words louder until we get it. Be patient with us. We won't always understand you but I promise we will always do our best to hear what you are saying to us.

You love your grandparents. All four of them hold a special, separate place in your heart. Your best friend is Addie. Your favorite person is Li-Li (Lorelli). But you jump up and down when you see Jo-Jo (Jodie) or Kay-Kay (Kayla) or An Kim (Auntie Kim). And you even love the meow-meows. I think eventually they will love you back. But you are learning you don't like everyone. You don't like one little girl at Little Gym. Please stop pushing her down. Eventually, you may push the wrong kid and end up on the wrong end of a fight. You can defend yourself when necessary but please don't make first contact.

You give sweet kisses whenever one of us leaves and you have never ever been upset to see us go. Ever. May you always have that confidence to know we will be there when you return. You are mostly potty trained and we are convinced preschool will be the final push for you to be 100% trained. Preschool starts in the fall and we are excited to see what this chapter will hold for you. Like every chapter in life, we look forward to the changes and experiences you will go through. I hope you'll always be able to tell us at least one good thing from each chapter.

You have your father's mischievous self and your mommy's outgoing self. It's a dangerous combination but one that makes you even more adorable to those who love you.

You are you.

I hope that above all else, you remain true to yourself. Many times during my work day, I wonder which student behaviors you will exhibit when you are a high school student. Which crowd will you run with and which decisions you will make for yourself. But no matter what choices you make, I never want you to be anything but Alexander. Be confident like your father. It is his strongest trait and what I most admire in him. Make your decisions based on you, not on the influence of friends. Surround yourself with positive, good people. Be responsible. Learn how to make others laugh with you and not at the expense of others. Push your boundaries and learn from your choices. And be happy with the choices you make. My heart will break when yours does but it will rejoice with you as well. We will always be your safety net but be prepared for timeouts as you make the choices that you must make. I hope you realize we are only doing what is best for you.

Writing a letter didn't turn out to be as difficult as I thought it would be. I'll tuck it away in this blog and someday, when I make the time, I'll print the blog as your baby book (that's another thing I meant to do). And maybe, just maybe, I'll write you another letter someday. Until then, let's just keep chatting away like we do. It's pretty fun.

I love you to the moon and back.
Mom